Crazy Blogger. . . .

So I took a wee break because, frankly, some friends were getting concerned that I was becomming some king of crazy person who would soon turn my blog into a forum for conspiracy theories.

Well, it MAY be that I was over-blogging, so I turned my efforts to mre worthwhile endevors,

A portion of My Hard Begotten Wood

This, adventure was also not without it's high points and low-points, I did manage to get my wood, (yeah!!) I did get to watch Cosmo, Ozzy, and Jed, feast on a Dead Elk !! (not so Yeah!!)  In fact when I found where the Three Amigos had gotten to Jed was nearly entirely inside the elk with only his tail our wagging merrily. (I will save you the photos of that)  This, thankfully led to very upset stomachs, lots of vomit, and a reluctance to do it again. 

Additionally, I have been preventing the Three Amigos from killing my outside cat, whom I have adopted as a mouse killing machine.
 

Festive Baking

Some Doggie themed, Linzer Cookies

Lemon Glazed Lemon Cookies

And I haven't forgotten about Dinner

Women's Lib' Finally Peaked

Is this the Greatest movie ever??? "Bitch Slap"  Is without question the peak of women's empowerment.  With a cast of characters with names ranging from Boom Boom,Joyride,Camaro, and of course "Roxy" these talented ladies rampage across the desert "Thelma and Louise" Style (with considerably less clothing) delivering gems like "I have a photojournalistic memory." 

Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to have been much of a budget and most of special effects seem to have been blown on the "enhancements" the ladies possessed. Oh, Did i mention the water fight, how about deputy FUCHS pronounced fukes, and I can't leave out the Pole dancing shovel scene. 

Don't worry i haven't spoiled anything. . .Find this movie and enjoy.

Guns Blazing, Popcorn flowing ---CLASSIC CINEMA

* SNAP *

Please remove your item from the bagging area, please return your item to the bagging area please wait for assistance, please place item in the bagging are, please remove the item from the bagging area please wait for assistance, please place the it--- PLEASE DIE !!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIEEEEEEEEE !!!!!!!

I am certain that most if not all of you have encountered the "Self Checkouts" at Walmart, Canadian Tire, Safeway. etc.  First things first, these are not by ANY definition "self checkouts" seldom if ever do you actually get through these abominations without some kind of assistance from the half-wits at the "Command Post" aka the guard station, situated to ensure that you don't accidentally steal something . . .I say accidentally because the self checkout is entirely likely to not register the purchase you want to make.  Secondly, if I had wanted to be a checkout guy/gal I would have performed a frontal lobotomy on myself years ago!!

Problems abound The above does not even cover the fact that if you are unlucky enough to stuck behind someone even less capable than I am at bagging, and or working the payment system, it entirely likely that the kindly old lady in the isle two rows over, complete with all of her coupons, discount cards, and archaic forms of payment will likely through the line, in her car and on her way home before you even finish looking up the code for crimini mushrooms. 

I hate these things I hate those that use them and hate the stores that employ them. Alas, I was able to discern only one possible positive result of these infernal devices

Home Stretch

I am finally closing in on the completion of the bathroom a little final sanding, some paint and caulking and it will be done.  Mostly I was just excited that tonight . . . .Tonight I get to have a shower. No more baths (not that my tub isn't really comfy)

Becomes. . . .

Billie is also Happy about me showering :)

Bunt Cake Debacle

I thought about titling this bunt cake bomb, but the alliteration just didn't work for me.  It's the holiday season and as such generally it is the time of year we try to WOW people with baked goods.   Well, WOW would be appropriate I got a new bunt Cake mold and I was pretty excited to make a cake in it.  The was it would resemble something like the following. . . .

the New Mold

Alas, this was not to be,  unfortunately for me I learned two VERY important lessons tonight. 

1) You CANNOT !! always substitute frozen mixed berried for frozen blueberries (yes, there are blueberries in the mix, but the other berries add too much moisture)

2) WAIT UNTIL CAKE HAS COOLED NO MATTER HOW GOOD IT SMELLS

the result of the following lesson . . .

It actually tastes really really, good.  Not for presentation **

Where the Deer and the antelope errrr Cows Roam

This morning, it looked like there were spotlights shining on the mountains highlighting my view, I was admiring the view enjoying my coffee, until I noticed. . . .

Doesn't look like much but  I have seen this bunch before, much closer mind you.  In the time it took me to get my camera my helpful fur children decided they were too close to the house so a barking they went.  Driving them far away and closer to the coolie, so you'll have to settle for this picture.

I call him Dinner. .  .there will be much better photos of him soon when I slice him up for roasts and chops.  Also Tasty

Tonight's Dinner

I had promised a recipe tonight but I didn't make anything so this is tonight's dinner...

also tasty

Resurrection . . .

So I am completely bored. . . not because I have nothing to do . . .but because like most unattended males the things I have to do are not things I want to do read VACCUMING.  (when you live with 2 Aussies it seems like the dumbest task EVER !!!

Soooo- like the bionic man, I am going to rebuild him - we have the technology, he will be better, stronger, faster errrrr. . .ok , maybe just shinier.

Originally injured in a tragic snow clearing accident, the king of pop has not really been making many public appearances.  Michael had his arm torn off and lost his base, his arms war repaired but clearly not adequately enough. 

Unfortunately Michael didn't survive the move much better. 

So once again, he will be rebuilt, and this year, he will be making the tour of as many Stockdog events I can make it to. It will begin soon. . . .

First to warm up by the fire. . . .

Winter Wonderland

For the dogs at least, this weather is a godsend.  The Aussies run around like Ton Ton's, I however, am not as big a fan of the Planet Hoth as they are. . . .

They seem genuinely curious why I don't want to play

Truth is, being not covered in fur is a disadvantage for me during their shenanigans.  Most of the dogs can be left alone to play by themselves, Jed needs periodic monitoring to ensure that he is not bringing me some cattle.  Cosmo on the other hand seems to pine for a different life. . .

And yet he seems quite content to lounge by the fire when there is real work to do.

As for Ozzy- well he just doesn't understand why we can't all roll around in the snow together.  Given his druthers, I am sure we would all snuggle in a snow bank.

Coincidence . . . .I think not!!

So as I have been publicly called out, I was going to leave my last post stand, however, I was commenting on a friend's blog and as many of you know you need to enter a string of random characters called a Captcha .  These are supposed to be random, although, there have been reports that google uses it's captchas to identifie words for it's google books program.  Anyway, in light of the public call out.  I received this as a captcha  . . . .again totally random . . . .

Random indeed

The Reno. . .

As some of you know, I have been doing some work on the new homestead.  this work includes, new light fixtures, fixing light fixture that were broken, installing all new plumbing in the bathroom, tearing out all of the old bathroom, stripping the floor down to the sub floor, replacing some of the sub floor, painting every square inch of the house, installing new vanity, installing new toilet, tub/shower, tilling the floor and shower walls.  This is not to mention that Billie's mom came and has cleaned every single inch of this place some it on her hands and knees. 

To say this place needed some work is a bit of an understatement, I have completed most of these tasks however one job, almost a final job is remaining, tiling the shower walls not because I lack the capability but because there is a small problem I have and I am, frankly, not sure how it will turn out.

Correct alignment of wallboard to tub flange

Incorrect alignment of wallboard to tub flange

The problem is that the bathroom is no longer square (if indeed it ever was) this results in a 1/4 inch gap that I will need to build up with thin-set.  I was going to do it today but life has gotten in the way, maybe tonight.   I will post pictures of how it turns out or you can seek them out on failblog.

First of many Recipes

We all know the bottom has fallen out of the pork market.  So that has left us with a glut of cheap pork, I submit for you taste buds the following recipe:

1 Pork Tenderloin
1teaspoon Cumin Seeds
1 Pinch Peppercorns
1 teaspoon brown Sugar

Toast the seeds and peppercorns in a dry skillet till they start to give off their aroma about 5 minutes on medium heat. Allow to cool and grind in either a mortar and pestle or coffee grinder (guess which I use)
Combine in a bowl with the brown sugar and salt. Rub this mixture into the tenderloin let sit (refrigerated for 2 hours)

1 White Onion
1/4 C Grand Marnier
1 Baby Zucchini (1/2 inch dice)
1 Tart Apple (peeled, cored, and diced)
1/2 Orange Bell Pepper
2 Tablespoons cold butter
1/2 Cup Chicken Stock

Sear off Tenderloin in a large skillet, remove once it has been seared to a baking dish bake at 400 for 20 min or until juices run clear ( I like slightly pink).  after 20 minutes remove to a cutting board tent with foil and Wait 5 minutes before slicing.

While the Tenderloin is baking, caramelize the onions in the same pan, once caramelized de-glaze the pan with the Grand Marnier.   Once the alcohol has cooked off add your Apples, Zucchini, and Bell Pepper.  Stir on medium for about 5 minutes then add the stock continue to cook until the Zucchini is tender.  (about  10 minutes)

Remove the skillet from the heat and Stir in your cold Butter careful not to let the butter get to hot and break out of the sauce. 

Slice the tenderloin, arrange around some roasted potatoes, and ladle the contents of the skillet on top. 

Don't worry . . . it's tasty

Do I look like I have Time for this ?

We all have people like this in our lives, people for whom the word melodramatic hardly seems strong enough. People who's use of hyperbole and histrionics leaves us wanting them stranded on a desert island without any form of communication. 

You can spot people like this easily now that Web 2.0 has evolved - they post messages on Facebook like " I can barely hang any longer." or twitter tweets such as "Worst day Ever!!" Really, has this really been the worst day ever - was you entire family just murdered in front of you while you were forced to watch or did some one not call you back in time, or were you late for a pedicure, or a big fight with you wife.

The problem with these type of over dramatic scenarios - the insidiousness of them is that you feel compelled to respond.  Sure, you ignore it for a while but after the 20 or 25th post you probably should intervene.   I mean truthfully if you really can't hang on any longer I  should probably refer you for some kind of psychiatric evaluation.  If it really has been the worst day ever, certainly, the news outlets would want to hear about this. 

This type of dramatic behavior sucks you in. You become and unwilling participant, sucked into their vortex of self loathing and self pity occupying both time and energy often with no resolution.  People like this enjoy and need drama it casts the stage lights firmly or them.

You see, undoubtedly I seem heartless and unfeeling at this point but really, who hasn't been near a 7 year old who drops his or her ice cream cone that thinks this is the worst day ever.  Kindly, you replace the ice cream and make sure he/she is feeling better. . . .the kind thing, the responsible thing to do would be to smile take him or her by the hand, and simply say " No, not yet it isn't.  " Thus preparing him or her for the onslaught of disappointment yet to come and saving the rest of us future time and energy.

Settling In. . . .

Happily as the settling in process moves along and the reno drags on and on  . . .there are some finding the adjustment easier than others -

Unfortunately for the dogs Winter is also settling in.  This morning it was a balmy -32 at my house and it's not expected to get any better for some time yet.  All of this leads to dogs with a severe case of Cabin Fever.  However, the silver lining to the in-climate weather is that I am forced to put nose firmly to grindstone and get and make some progress on the inside renovation.  I can't wait until spring and a new giant list is created for outside renovations and landscape reform.  There will, however, be a vegetable garden.                    

As Promised . . . .The new Digs

So yes, we (the family) are all moved out of Bowness aka. the HOOD  where the sounds of the night were filled with the soothing sounds of "cracked out" individuals screaming at each other about whatever it is that "cracked out individuals argue about.  Yes, sadly, I think i might miss my old stomping ground where nights were filled with the light of Christmas lights up and down the street . . . errr Cop cars and or Ambulances.  Yep it was a great place to live .  In retrospect it is great that neither Billie nor I were ever stabbed, assaulted, or involved in a sex offence ( kind of vague listing on the map). 

Anyway were are settling into our new home and loving it. 

Our new place on the Bar Pipe Ranch

know as the

Bull Farm

We are Just completing the move and as many of you  know moving sucks, it reminds you that :

a.) You have too much stuff

b.) You didn't know you had a lot of the stuff you are now carting. 

Never the less it does afford you the opportunity to pare down or edit some of your belongings needless to say that all of those decisions are undertaken by someone with more authority than I.  It is relaxing out here lots of wide open space, where  I can have some sheep, where the dogs can run around like idiots and a garage where I can play and or tinker.  There are a couple of really great parts to living here and some not so great parts:

Not so Great . . . the bathroom needed to be gutted and redone completely (pictures of the finished project coming soon)

and Really Great

This is my view out of my kitchen, and my living room.  I can get used to this  :)

But for now I am spent

Blogger Squatters

So here I sit mild mannered, yet somehow filled with passive aggressive rage with the individuals who have, for whatever reason, stopped blogging and are unfortunately for me close enough in line with my sense of humor to have taken names for blogs that I would have chosen.

 My first choice would have been "nochickens" a reference to the fact that due to completely understandable and reasonable reasons I will not be permitted to have chickens at my new home. ( I am, I must confess, less reasonable and quite heartbroken) The Yahoo that owns that blog has not blogged in 2 years . . . . now I don't want to cast aspersions but - COME ON !! DELETE if you are not going to keep us updated on whatever lame ramblings pass for entertainment in your life at least delete the past so we (namely I can move on) 

My next choice was for "this and that" this particular blogger is the WORST KIND.  I mean really !!! "Just finding out how it works." Really, that's your contribution to the web-verse the great and kindly wisdom you have impart is . . . ."Just finding out how it works." If you have not done so in the 7 years since this was posted HANG YOU HEAD IN SHAME !! Call you parents and anyone who tried to help/guide you and apologize for wasting their time and let them down easy that you will forever be a disappointment!!

On to new of a more positive kind. . . .Billie, the dogs and I have new digs, That right homeless cracked out junkies . . . you're gonna have to break into someone else's vehicle and swipe their crap.  Thanks to a coalition of friends, We now live on the Bar Pipe ranch and call the "bull farm" out new home. What a home it is my next post will up date the past two weeks of moving in and settling in both dogs and stuff .


For now I am Spent